An emergency council of the Earth Capybaras was convened. They gathered in a circle to discuss a major concern. It seemed that humans had taken great interest in the Earth Capybaras shortly after discovering their existence. There had now been a further development. The bipeds appeared to find Capybaras ‘cute’ and had begun treating them as pets.
This, of course, was a great affront to Capybara dignity. If anything, they thought the humans should be their pets, however the whole notion of ‘petship’ was anathema to Capybara thinking. Serene though they were, they were a society of individuals. Personal liberty was the cornerstone of their worldview. In fact, it was the very bizarreness of how humans arranged themselves which had driven these Capybaras to come and get a closer look.
So it was that the council was called to order. Capybara Ursula was the first to speak. She said that they had come to Earth to study humans, and what better opportunity could there be to understand them than to see how they treated Capybaras? Wouldn’t interfering invalidate the results? This was met with disgruntled muttering. Capybara Cyril squeaked that the whole idea was insulting and demeaning and they should up and leave, harumph harumph. The sentiment of the council seemed to follow Capybara Cyril.
Capybara Ursula expected Capybara Cyril to say something like this. She’d always struggled to understand why he never got fully on board with this great adventure. He had a way of poisoning the optimism of the whole group. On the other hand, she observed that while her own species clung so fiercely to their individuality, they also didn’t want to be burdened with the responsibility of making decisions for themselves.
The rest of the council were parroting Capybara Cyril’s dissatisfaction, and Capybara Ursula knew that the next step would be suggesting that they return home to the Moon. This lot were being so narrowminded, but it wasn’t really their fault. The burbling source was Capybara Cyril. She wanted to shake the miserly negativity out of him. He was a brilliant scientist. She suspected that he simply missed the comforts of home, in which case he was being particularly silly. All the bipeds wanted to do was shower them with love and treats. So what, if the price was letting humans think of them as pets?
Capybara Ursula spoke up again, wielding rhetoric like a master. She reminded them of a ragtag, disobedient lot who had set out from the moon chasing curiosity. It was true, they had not been prepared for how different Earth would be. There were many discomforts. But here was an opportunity both to ease life, and continue with their mission at the same time. For goodness sake, the humans made them special pools to swim around in. They brought them food. The way to think about it from the Capybara perspective was that the humans were their servants.
Her speech went on and on. She refused to stop until the fire of nosiness was rekindled around the circle. When she felt confident, she immediately called for a vote. Allowing Capybara Cyril another speech would only result in going round and round in circles.
She had them. A little nudging was all that was required. Even Capybara Cyril assented with good grace. He wasn’t so bad after all. Now they could be pampered as they studied the mysterious goings on of the bipeds. It really shouldn’t have been so hard to agree on that.